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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:41:28 GMT -5
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:41:47 GMT -5
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized? He just took it in stride.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:42:00 GMT -5
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:42:11 GMT -5
They don't watch the flintstones in Dubai.
But Abu Dhabi do.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:42:25 GMT -5
Lone Ranger sees Tonto riding with a dustbin.
LR: "Where are you going Tonto?"
T: "to-the-dump-to-the dump-to-the-dump-dump dump..."
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:42:51 GMT -5
Kids party.
"This bouncy castle's twice the price of last year"
No
"That's..."
Please no
"That's inflation for you!"
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:43:04 GMT -5
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the P is silent
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:43:26 GMT -5
Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief?
He had loco motives
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:43:45 GMT -5
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.... Then it's a soap opera.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:43:59 GMT -5
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:44:22 GMT -5
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator!
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:44:34 GMT -5
You can't run through a camp site.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:44:49 GMT -5
Why did the redhead go to the dentist?
Ginger-vitis
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:45:01 GMT -5
"Does this uniform make me look fat" - insecurity guard
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:45:13 GMT -5
May the 4th be with you.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:45:29 GMT -5
How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
You will see one later and one in a while.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:45:43 GMT -5
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:45:56 GMT -5
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:46:09 GMT -5
You know what they say about cliffhangers...
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:46:25 GMT -5
Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:46:37 GMT -5
Ever noticed that glass tastes like blood?
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:47:36 GMT -5
You heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:47:46 GMT -5
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from London zoo.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:48:03 GMT -5
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrelephant
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:48:15 GMT -5
What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
Udder destruction.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:48:39 GMT -5
I thought about going on an all-almond diet..... But that's just nuts
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:48:53 GMT -5
What's a duck's favourite dip? Quackamole
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:49:06 GMT -5
Why was the snowman so chill?
Because he was a chill guy.
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:49:24 GMT -5
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta
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Post by River Man on Nov 10, 2022 1:49:36 GMT -5
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
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