|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:13:33 GMT -5
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:13:20 GMT -5
There is a new disease found in margarine...
Apparently it spreading very easily.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:13:07 GMT -5
I ate some rotten chicken last night. Now I feel fowl.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:12:48 GMT -5
Sleeping comes naturally to me. I can do it with my eyes closed.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:12:38 GMT -5
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:12:26 GMT -5
A pet shop was ransacked last week... ...there are currently no leads.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:12:14 GMT -5
How does a muppet die?
Apparently, it kermits suicide.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:11:59 GMT -5
Don't have a Findus lasagne before bed. You'll have a nightMARE.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:11:40 GMT -5
First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:11:15 GMT -5
Pancake day...that crêped up on us...
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:11:04 GMT -5
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:10:54 GMT -5
I couldn't pay for my coffee because my wallet was in my other pair of moccachinos. I got it for free. Thanks a latté
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:10:27 GMT -5
I woke up with a face full of rice. I must've fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:10:16 GMT -5
Why was the broom late? Because it over swept!
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:09:54 GMT -5
I tried to throw a ball at a cloud. I mist.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:09:37 GMT -5
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:09:20 GMT -5
Today a girl said she recognised me from vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:09:06 GMT -5
I went to the doctor today and he told me I had type A blood but it was a type O.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:08:55 GMT -5
I stayed up all night to find out where the sun went, then it dawned on me...
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:08:41 GMT -5
I've just been to a very emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:08:28 GMT -5
Sorry I've been away for a while, I was at the fabric shop looking for new material.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:08:12 GMT -5
What happens when you tell an egg a joke? It cracks up.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:08:00 GMT -5
The other day someone left plasticine in my house. I didn't know what to make of it.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:07:40 GMT -5
Why do the French only put one egg in an omelette? Because one egg is un oeuf.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:07:22 GMT -5
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don't think it's feline well.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:07:12 GMT -5
I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:06:53 GMT -5
My uncle works with Digital radios. You could say he’s a DAB hand.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:06:34 GMT -5
Have you heard the conspiracy about Russian allotments. It's all just a communist plot.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:06:19 GMT -5
Went to the corner shop today... Bought four corners.
|
|
|
Post by Crimhthan The Great on Nov 10, 2022 12:06:08 GMT -5
Had a new beaver curry last night. It's like a normal curry, just a bit 'otter.
|
|