|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:50:11 GMT -5
Jokes with a twist, anti-jokes.
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:51:04 GMT -5
What did one Frenchman say to the other?
I have no idea; I don’t speak French.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:51:43 GMT -5
Two muffins are sitting in the oven.
One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here.” The other one says, “Sure is. Probably about 350 degrees Fahrenheit.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:52:00 GMT -5
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:52:22 GMT -5
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:52:35 GMT -5
What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:52:52 GMT -5
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:53:13 GMT -5
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:53:32 GMT -5
What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody?
A lot. There were three movies, and a couple of short films too.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:53:47 GMT -5
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
They all get a drink because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:54:08 GMT -5
What’s a vampire’s favorite food?
Vampires aren’t real.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:54:25 GMT -5
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:54:36 GMT -5
What do you call a cross between…
…a joke and a rhetorical question?
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 17:54:53 GMT -5
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A blonde is a living person with a specific hair color, and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used in the sport of bowling.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:16:32 GMT -5
What’s black and white and red all over?
Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:16:49 GMT -5
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
None. Historians believe that most pirates were most likely illiterate.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:17:04 GMT -5
Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
He gets treated with great respect since he’s such a talented actor.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:17:42 GMT -5
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:19:51 GMT -5
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:20:15 GMT -5
Helium walks into a bar.
He orders a drink and wonders why his parents decided to give him such an unusual name, as he can never find it on personalized souvenirs. Plus, baristas never, ever get it right.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:20:47 GMT -5
Roses are red, violets are blue…
…but roses can also be many other colors, including yellow, pink, and white; and violets actually look more purple than blue, hence their name.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:22:29 GMT -5
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where’s my tractor?
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:22:41 GMT -5
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A fly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:22:54 GMT -5
What did one German man say to the other?
I don’t know. I can’t speak German!
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:23:13 GMT -5
A grasshopper walks into a bar.”The barman says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper says, “Really, you have a drink called Steve?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:23:29 GMT -5
Why can’t a T-rex clap?
Because it’s extinct!
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:23:52 GMT -5
What is the funniest of all anti jokes?
Definitely not this one.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:24:03 GMT -5
What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?
A flying brick.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:24:20 GMT -5
What do you call a carwash that won’t wash cars anymore?
Broken.
|
|
|
|
Post by Keyone1234 on Nov 19, 2022 18:24:34 GMT -5
What do you call a talking turtle?
Fictional.
|
|
