The 2500 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

[The Archivist]

2176. Even if calling out characters for critical hits is encouraged, no talking the crit hit monster into naming his character Skjor.
2177. Plan A is not send in the Doom Reaver and wait for the screams to stop.
2178. Despite what you think, the profession: Dentist can't substitute for the interrogation skill.
2179. My Werebear can't hibernate through the boring expository parts at the beginning.
2180. Even if I can justify a Viking with a maxed out legal skill, that doesn't give him a law degree.
2181. Druids don't practice dental hygiene by having small birds pick their teeth clean.
2182. Mechalus are not just Borg with better PR.
2183. Distract the bad guy does not mean with a called shot to his appendix.
2184. No hacking the target megacorp to put out a recall notice for their security's firearms.
2185. Despite it's tremendous cost to benefit ratio, bubblewrap is not a staple of black ops.
2186. My character in an Anthro RPG is meant to be a anime furry cliche, not an escapee from Looney Toons.
2187. No matter how many examples I can give, a flamethrower cannot boost morale.
2188. The primary use of a Druid's nature lore is not to learn the mating calls of various fey creatures.
2189. The 2nd Book of Gretsky appears nowhere in the Canadian Bible.
2190. Can't take Energy Blast with infinite range and the ability to shoot through the TV and just channel surf the news.
2191. When challenged by a Dwarf King, I can't pick basketball.
2192. The villain will eventually notice the train tracks are starting to point straight at his front door.
2193. Inspire Courage is a great super power, unless you use it to get hordes of innocent bystanders to bum rush the super villain.
2194. No questioning the Marshal on why a town of 4,000 people and no strategic value warranted a 100 megaton nuke.
2195. "Bladder Control" is not an appropriate super hero power.
2196. When listing the advantages of elves to the new player, I will leave off "shatter proof".
2197. Rings of Fire Resistance offer no protection from rug burn.
2198. When the villain is hiding from us, just can't call him on his cell.
2199. No animal companions come in their prehistoric version.
2200. If I just cast 17 fire spells in the Druid's Sacred Grove and a simple "Sorry" isn't going to cut it.

[The Archivist]

2201. Just because they don't have rules for them, Canadians can still be companions for the Doctor.
2202. When I take watch, everybody must wake up with the same number of limbs as they went to sleep with.
2203. Even if the rules allow it, the spell Command: Summarize can't speed up the plot exposition.
2204. The restriction on guns extends to all buildings used for higher education.
2205. The commissar will not be pleased if our entire plan is 1. Ask for a Baneblade. 2. Roll low.
2206. Create a distraction doesn't mean with walruses trained in ballroom dance.
2207. We are not stopping the villain with small mammals armed with power tools.
2208. My favored enemy must be more than just "Claire".
2209. My techpriest will refrain from developing emotional attachments to the ordnance.
2210. I will remember that if any samurai sounds like Takeshi Shimura, we will all end up sounding like Takeshi Shimura.
2211. If I have to change my samurai's voice, I will pick something that doesn't make him sound like a native of Guadalajara.
2212. The DM doesn't want to hear about the pointlessness of framing an aasimar paladin for murder.
2213. In the middle of a black ops the target's elevator music selection is off limits.
2214. Deer season is restricted to rifles or bows, not brass knuckles.
2215. Despite what the rules imply, multiple held actions do not interfere with the flow of time.
2216. Can't spot the paladin hiding in the thieves guild by looking for the guy breaking out in hives.
2217. Multi-classing to a fighter/mage/thief is fine. A fighter/mage/thief/Reagan Democrat is not.
2218. We don't have to consult a neurologist every time somebody fails a paralysis save.
2219. No casting haste on the fighter while he sleeps to see how long it takes him to notice all the new gray hair.
2220. No using every possible special rule for combat in the very first fight of the campaign.
2221. If a conjured monster does exceptionally well in combat, I can't ask him for a resume.
2222. The Find Traps spell doesn't work on dating websites.
2223. Stone of flesh spells are banned in all major art galleries.
2224. Anesthetic is not just for sissies.
2225. Personal effects are enough to prove we stopped the villain. No more bringing back his zombified corpse.

[The Archivist]

2226. The concept of vowels are not alien to dwarves.
2227. The first thing you do in Bangkok after clearing customs is not make an alignment check.
2228. No asking the elf how they make it to 1000 years old with such a crappy fortitude save.
2229. It's Thieves Cant. Not Illegalize.
2230. Even if we were told to use all of it, can't use the extra explosives for public displays of affection to my girlfriend.
2231. The spell is called Dancing Lights, not Detect Epilepsy.
2232. When discussing examples of target sizes, there will be no mention of areolas.
2233. Cause Disease doesn't let you pick the diseased caused, so I can stop reading the symptoms of Kuru.
2234. No abusing homonyms.
2235. Just because Orlais doesn't have a Shogun, doesn't mean I can declare myself one.
2236. Even if it would be awesome in real life, Immunity: Bureaucracy is not an acceptable super power.
2237. Christian Baleful Polymorph is not a real spell.
2238. The Returning ability on magical weapons doesn't let me make a fortune at pawn shops.
2239. Under no circumstances is modern art purchases coming out of the team fund.
2240. Though there are many to ways to become a god, buying a Gibson Les Paul and maxing out the perform skill isn't one of them.
2241. "Fantastic in the sheets" is not an appropriate character focus.
2242. Even if the rules allow it, no asking a Dread Destroyer for favors.
2243. Buying the crew the best quality underwear in the sector isn't going to increase moral.
2244. On second thought, rhythm guitar isn't an appropriate focus for a bard.
2245. Ammunition is not just for closers.
2246. No basing our epic powered superhero group in Terre Haute.
2247. If even if the rules allow it, no trading in our laser guns for muskets to play Sharpe's Rifles IN SPACE!!!
2248. No abusing union bylaws to exploit holes in security.
2249. Even if I take the Total Recall trait, I can't remember all quarter million crew on my ship by their first name.
2250. Even if I haven't had anything to do for several hours, no updating Facebook in the middle of a Black Ops.

[The Archivist]

2251. No calling a city councilman to settle an argument about dwarves.
2252. When a dwarf goes to the surface for the first time, I can't cast levitate on him.
2253. Gandolf never had a lavender phase.
2254. Covering myself in mud doesn't make me invisible to the elf.
2255. In the middle of a Black Ops I can't delete the guards we killed from their HR database.
2256. I cannot play anything with a blowhole.
2257. Even if my character is Welsh, his name has to include vowels.
2258. If the middle of a Black Ops can't call a lot of long distance phone sex numbers and just leave their phones off the hook.
2259. Even if I am allowed to design my own gun, I can't make a .314 Magnum Pistol.
2260. My Qunari cannot join the Church of Giantology.
2261. No picking a god based solely on the number of paid religious holidays they offer.
2262. If we're level 1, we can't blow up the planet.
2263. The rune stones did not just say the princess needs to get naked.
2264. Even if my character is from Chicago, he still only gets one vote in party matters.
2265. I will remember any use of the Perform: Burlesque skill is going require a full turn for my bard to get dressed again.
2266. Immunity to blast damage does not help against the fallout of another player's stupidity.
2267. When the GM says I can have any weapon classified as archaic, that doesn't include trebuchets.
2268. When in the presence of a god is not the best time to bring up the topic of reformation.
2269. Can't switch religions in the middle of a game.
2270. No auctioning off my faith between the various temples.
2271. No converting to religions from other games.
2272. The paladin does not have to run a background check on new PCs before they join the group.
2273. Can't pick a religion based solely on the greatest number of sexual positions allowed.
2274. I am not transelven.
2275. Disguising the party as Cygnarans requires more than just buying a whole bunch of goggles.

[The Archivist]

2276. I will not name my character Bab Thaco.
2277. If the king says he will reimburse our expenses, no turning the mission into an epic continent spanning quest.
2278. Especially if the original missions was "kill all the goblins in this cave."
2279. No abusing the thaumaturgy spell by slamming doors in the face of missionaries, inventing the clapper, or constantly impersonating BRIAN BLESSED.
2280. We aren't starting 5th edition by finding Elminster in the shower wondering about 4th edition.
2281. Bring the goblins to justice doesn't mean knocking all of them out and marching them back for a public apology.
2282. Our first encounter can't end with me hugging a bugbear tell him how much I missed him.
2283. There is no such thing as a Belt of Norwegification.
2284. I am not assigning that 18 I just rolled to my necromancer's charisma.
2285. I will remember the basic set is still incomplete and ignore all the "under construction" signs.
2286. Can only pick two of the following for my character: dwarf beserker, battering ram, fireproof, light source.
2287. We are not using the dwarf's back hair to make any of the following: rope, sweater, quilt, hot air balloon.
2288. I will not force the rookie to pick sides in the eternal banded mail debate.
2289. Even if the breakup was bad, naming my ex as my ranger's favored enemy puts out a creepy stalker vibe.
2290. Even if the rules allow it, my gladiator's starting weapons cannot be the trident and bagpipes.
2291. Even if he is "a mysterious entity whose nature is utterly foreign to the fabric of reality" Andy Kaufman does not count as a Great Old One.
2292. Even if the rules allow it, I can't have proficiency in every skill by level 6.
2293. No casting Guards & Wards in the houses of people who annoy me.
2294. I will stop casting Awaken on the other party members' horses.
2295. If even if they are half the cost of warhorses, can't just by elephants for the entire party.
2296. My gnome won't drunk call the Elf MkII that didn't make the cut in the new edition.
2297. When asked for typical barbarian settings, I can't suggest Camden N. J.
2298. The bond "ex-husband" can't be applied to every female character in the party.
2299. I will stop assuming all Drow know Drizzt.
2300. It's cute when you train your hamster to attack their eyes. Your weasel not so cute.

[The Archivist]

2301. Even if the rules allow it, the entire party can't be all raised by the same wolf.
2302. The party's mutual bond can't be "former members of the Funky Bunch."
2303. I can't bribe the dwarf with an offer of putting him up for stud.
2304. Kissing up to a dragon until he gives us a minor trouble is acceptable, slapping us with a restraining order not so much.
2305. Can't use the Summon Monster spell to redefine the term "Trolling someone"
2306. 12 degrees of success on my charm test doesn't automatically earn me a commissarial backrub.
2307. Successfully grappling the roper doesn't let me use him to play double dutch with the thief.
2308. Even if the rules allow it, no using plaid colored light spells to to mess with the guard's perception of movement.
2309. If I challenge Death to a game, picking Campaign for North Africa doesn't ensure immortality.
2310. Despite what the rules say, a ghille suit does not make me invisible in the St. Patrick's Day parade.
2311. No matter what it would do to his spell casting chances, I can't cast shrink on the necromancer's undies.
2312. You can only make so many called shots to the groin until it's an alignment check.
2313. "Athletic Scholarship" is not an acceptable excuse to take the sage background for my half orc barbarian.
2314. After cleaning out their lair, I can't put all the newly petrifried medusas in my front yard as decorations.
2315. I will not finish any sentence containing the phrase 'Blink Ferrets."
2316. Need to stop coming up with excuses to keep referencing page 73 of the Dungeoneer's Survival Guide.
2317. No matter how rude it was, I will keep all my interactions with the magic mouth at the entry of the dungeon PG-13.
2318. Even if the rules allow it, no dual wielding lances.
2319. Just because it's legal to dual wield quarterstaves, tieing two together does not give me dire-nunchucks.
2320. My rogue will accept the fact he can backstab a tridrone, even if it doesn't have a back to stab.
2321. We aren't using Rosie O'Donnel for a unit of measurement for any aspect of a warjack.
2322. Yes the Demolition Corps has a dress uniform, no it's not steam powered.
2323. Just because I bought my dice bag at the Vatican doesn't mean my dice are Catholic.
2324. Despite the book's claim, using a double negative in the Protectorate of Menoth doesn't bring down a death sentence.
2325. Before making my last wish, I will make sure everybody in the party actually wants patagia.

[The Archivist]

2326. My woad clad Pict will stop calling the lady knight critical of chainmail bikinis an overdressed prude.
2327. Just because acid is considered a damage type and alkaline isn't doesn't mean the DM has a Ph imbalance.
2328. Just because damage is non-lethal doesn't mean I can keep beating him for hours.
2329. Gurahl come in grizzly, kodiak and polar varieties. Not drop.
2330. Wife's side of the family is not an acceptable choice for favored enemy.
2331. Even if it's a gladiator campaign, we can't all be Spartacus.
2332. When asked why the Feywild isn't in the campaign, "self inflicted nuclear holocaust" isn't the right answer.
2333. Even if the rules allow it, I can't have a clockwork kidney.
2334. This goes double for a steam powered liver.
2335. While it is customary to initiate a duel by striking with a gauntlet, it is also customary to do it at subsonic speeds.
2336. I will make sure any minor summoning spell gets us a lesser elemental and not jailbait.
2337. I will not use summon spells just for sticking somebody else with the check.
2338. Even if the rules allow it, we can't be Space Ogre Ninjas.
2339. When providing pistols for a duel, they both can't be fingerprint locked just to me.
2340. Even if the rules allow it, I can't spend my xp to turn the crapsack setting into a functional Randian utopia.
2341. Liechtenstein doesn't have a challenge rating.
2342. Pendragon is not the best game to test Darwin's theories on survival of the fittest.
2343. I can't spend all my starting points on concubines.
2344. Every time the catgirl fails a skill check, I won't spritz her with the water bottle as punishment.
2345. I can't use the catgirl's tongue to remove paint from metal.
2346. Even if my character's lifespan is in centuries, I can't just pour salt water over the lock and just wait.
2347. I also can't spend all my character points on one just really awesome concubine.
2348. I will stop asking the Jesuit to teach me kung fu moves.
2349. No finding industrial uses for Darkspawn.
2350. Step one of every plan can't just be "Set them all on fire"

[The Archivist]

2351. Even if my druid is immune to poison doesn't mean he can chug bleach with impunity.
2352. Can't clear out the dungeon with just engineering checks.
2353. I will not test the DM's knowledge on the rules for hypothermia, heat stroke or dysentery.
2354. No more bringing more rule books to the game than the GM owns.
2355. Can't bribe a dragon with belly rubs.
2356. There is no such thing as medicinal melange.
2357. 4Chan does not cause more sanity loss than Cthulhu.
2358. Just because the new edition is light on magic items doesn't mean I have to go through withdrawal.
2359. Even if we all conspired to do it, it's my fault if the characters' names form a Jewish folk song.
2360. I can't spend all of my share of the loot on flamethrowers.
2361. I don't get bulk discounts when buying armies.
2362. I can't devote an entire deck of the battle cruiser to just my mistress.
2363. Drug tests can't detect potions of speed.
2364. I should stop asking the Lady of Pain to RSVP.
2365. Even if it's the simple and and obvious solution to the module, we aren't beating the adventure with lesbianism.
2366. The following are not acceptable seconds in a duel: Space Marine Chapter Masters, Intelligent Dancing Vorpal Swords, Prussia.
2367. The rulebook wasn't kidding about needing 5,000 people to hijack a Star Destroyer.
2368. Even if the entire party is in total agreement, we aren't stopping the game to call the writer and correct his Texas history.
2369. If the villain doesn't have a phobia of the blue footed boobie, I can't give him one.
2370. I will keep the amount of sexual innuendo to a minimum in the autopsy report.
2371. Even if I sew them into a serape, I can't wear two magical capes at once.
2372. The Control Water spell is not for spontaneous wet t-shirt contests.
2373. The name for a group of elves is not the fagot.
2374. While Perform: Spoken word is an acceptable skill for a bard, Perform: Scat is not.
2375. I will remember the whole acid spray ability before I cause the Company Chaplain to spit take.

[The Archivist]

2376. The Dwarven work ethic is not just "Dig until we hit evil."
2377. When granted a wish use it to unsink the continent the immortals just destroyed.
2378. When making a wish granted by said immortals, I will leave out the words "you incompetent pricks."
2379. Can't just use a wish to turn Strahd back to a human.
2380. No weaponizing the Talisman of Pure Good.
2381. Just because they can't be the target of raise dead spells doesn't mean elves have no soul.
2382. In the middle of a black ops can't organize a skeet shoot with office furniture.
2383. When challenging Death to a game, GMing Paranoia doesn't grant immortality.
2384. Raise Dead spells are not just for closers.
2385. Doesn't matter where you hit him, you can't set a bard to shuffle.
2386. There is no such thing as gnomeophobia.
2387. I will not give anybody an unreasonable fear of gnomes.
2388. No matter how high my damage resistance is, I can't name my dwarf Tanky McTankitytank.
2389. Despite the ridiculously short lifespans, 3rd level doesn't count as epic level for Atruaghins.
2390. The plan is not just let the villain beat on the dwarf until his arm gets tired.
2391. If I'm the druid I can't put protestant down as my religion.
2392. The teleporting spiders attacking us are not just going through a phase.
2393. The natural enemy of the elf is not the common cold.
2394. No wasting wishes trying to bring ultravision back to the game.
2395. No picking the only form of travel the DM isn't familiar with.
2396. Traveling by sculling is nowhere near as cool as it sounds.
2397. Any character named Jim Katta is going to be taken from me and burned.
2398. The Fereldan rules of succession are not just "Two men enter, one man leaves."
2399. When looking for a template to make a creature deadlier, "Australian" is not a legitimate choice.
2400. Just because I have the technology, doesn't mean I need to make him better.

[The Archivist]

2401. Just because there are no rules for the bec de corbin, doesn't mean they don't exist.
2402. No starting wars over the what's the best pole arm.
2403. Can't give a shout out in a ransom note.
2404. I can't bet Grazz't my soul in a showdown over a golden oboe.
2405. Cleaning out all eleven of the Caves of Chaos in a single night is not what they mean by a dungeon crawl.
2406. I can't save money on identify spells by just having random peasants do a blind taste test on these potions I found.
2407. I can't save points on learning a new language by just learning only the profanity.
2408. The advantage "Friends in High Places" cannot be represented by Johnny Walker Blue.
2409. My wish cannot include the words "and, additional, furthermore" or any synonyms thereof.
2410. Our posse can't resemble an 80's British glam band without an explanation.
2411. The most dangerous weapon is not an Upeo Wa Macho and her construction equipment.
2412. Yes, they are the perfect solution to all our deep one problems. No we can't have depth charges.
2413. The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn't had his morning coffee.
2414. Offering to buy the hostage I just rescued a new arm is not sufficient enough of an apology.
2415. Vargyr do not have the flaw Ancestral Enemy: United States Postal Service.
2416. No convincing Rahasia he's just not that worth it.
2417. Bargle the Infamous is not under a "Protection from Continuity" spell.
2418. If the quest is to retrieve a magical genie bottle, no shaking it up before handing it back over.
2419. I am required to tell the DM if the secret villain of the adventure is revealed on the back synopsis of the module screen.
2420. You can't teach a parrot Power Word Kill.
2421. There is no danger from explosive decompression in teleporting a duergar directly to the surface.
2422. You better believe wearing a mu-mu to the coronation gets you searched for halflings.
2423. If the party is black tie only, that doesn't mean just painted on the power armor.
2424. Even if she is a soul sucking creature of unholy darkness, the cleric can't turn my ex-wife.
2425. My necromancer is not in charge of inhuman resources.

[The Archivist]

2426. Cleaning out the dungeon doesn't involve dressing up like ghosts and trying to scare them out.
2427. The positive energy plane doesn't charge a cover charge.
2428. Not allowed to see if its possible to drown someone in a barrel filled with healing potions.
2429. Can't apply the holy avenger traits to siege weapons.
2430. The halfling wizard can't exploit the short rest rules by abusing the use of a papoose.
2431. A mandingo is not an Australian lycanthrope.
2432. If I have to guard the AV-8 during the black ops, no entertaining myself with the PA system, ejection seat or cluster munitions.
2433. I can't fill my yard with adventurer shaped statues to convince people it's a Medusa lair so they fight me with their eyes closed.
2434. When I'm told a giant version of a creature is acceptable for my animal companion, that doesn't include the tortoise.
2435. Using dogs to keep late watch is fine, howler monkeys not so much.
2436. I will not be the sole reason Carnivale is canceled this year.
2437. If another player's character has all the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, a Cure Disease spell won't help.
2438. Not starting the adventure until we have exactly one elf in the party is not Tolkienism.
2439. Pointing out the gun will break the character's shoulder if fired in that position is not they meant as a trigger warning.
2440. Scots do not go up faster in direct sunlight faster than vampires.
2441. My Rogue Trader's crew will notice if she left out Savior Pods to make room for a bigger shoe closet.
2442. Firepower is not an appropriate substitute for the Fellowship stat.
2443. We are not sneaking into the Golden Throne disguised as a documentary crew.
2444. No, I really don't want to know the Profit Factor cost for insurance on my Grand Cruiser is.
2445. When facing the terrasque can't just gate in a black ball and sit back and watch.
2446. No complaining after the black ball takes out the terrasque when it starts doing donuts on the treasure pile.
2447. No threatening the aboleth with telling the Cajun restaurant his location.
2448. Acererak doesn't care about the Tomb of Horror's Yelp rating.
2449. Even if my musketeer just tore Richelieu from the French throne, I didn't just break the Cardinal rule.
2450. If the Storyteller gives me a drama die at about 70 mph and aimed at my face, it wasn't a compliment.

[The Archivist]

2451. Any swashbucker I'm building is vetoed if I'm watching the video to Adam Ant's Stand and Deliver.
2452. Befre I take advantage of the "kids eat free" offer my hin has to at least shave.
2453. Saving the queen from a fashion disaster is a good thing. A fashion disaster not so much.
2454. My bard is now required to take a long rest between performances of Tarzan Boy.
2455. Can't name my aasimar bard Petra Stryper.
2456. Aasimar bards know more songs than just Disney tunes.
2457. My aasimar bard is not allowed to resemble any member of the Wiggles.
2458. Despite their ability for mimicry, I can't have all my tomes copies by Kenkus.
2459. No we can't steal the Death Star plans by just filling out all the appropriate paper work.
2460. A bard that plays like Bob Dillon is awesome. A bard that talks like Bob Dillon not so much.
2461. There is no such thing as the Dwarvish Poetry Guild.
2462. My paladin does not have fourth, classified, oath known only to Omnicorp.
2463. No reminding the DM the rules for parasitic infection are on page 13 of the DMG.
2464. I can't ask the dragon any riddle with the answer ytterbium.
2465. No leaving the future god of strife tied to a tree just because he's annoying.
2466. If I'm told to loop the feed for the video camera, they didn't mean with hard core porn.
2467. If we have to hide our weapons, no dumping the napalm into the fire sprinkler reserve tanks.
2468. No narrating the after battle report in Jacques Cousteau's voice.
2469. The AV-9 is for air support, not beer runs.
2470. If ordered to see if anybody is in a building, no setting it on fire and seeing if anybody runs out.
2471. Just because I min/maxed the heavy artillery skill doesn't mean I get to spend the entire adventure drinking cocoa and listening to the radio.
2472. The rest of the party would like to know why I'm putting all my skill points into nuclear warhead.
2473. Even if the rules allow it, I don't get a sustained fire bonus for nuclear weapons.
2474. My spotter is forbidden from playing I Spy with the sniper again.
2475. When told to distract the enemy, they didn't mean with a called shot to their flamethrower.

[The Archivist]

2476. Nobody else appreciates the irony of drowning someone in a bucket of potions of waterbreathing.
2477. Can't waterboard a triton with just a dry towel.
2478. Viking rites of succession typically don't have a swimsuit segment.
2479. The can't be said about viking beauty pageants and their trial by combat segment.
2480. No convincing the party to play characters that combined requires 15,000,000 xp before one of us reaches 1st level.
2481. Kirk Fu is not a real martial art.
2482. There is no heart genasi, so we're going to have to find another way to defeat Juiblex.
2483. In the middle of a black ops can't call the target's tech support to get help breaking into their computer network.
2484. "Humor me" is not an acceptable targeting parameter on the robotic sentry guns.
2485. I will not cause the GM to break down because his new game is seriously flawed and unplayable until after character generation.
2486. The sergeant's inquiry on why I need 10 rolls of duct tape for the black ops was not a rhetorical question.
2487. There is no bag limit on orcs.
2488. My untouchable Rogue Trader will stop getting cheap thrills by sneaking up on the astropath.
2489. It is not a race to strip mine the planet.
2490. No, the module is not fooling itself thinking I'm just going to let the battleship power up and sail into deep space.
2491. No abusing the falling rules in the 5th edition to achieve faster than light travel in just six seconds.
2492. There is no place on the ship's bridge for my DJ booth.
2493. No using repulsors to turn the villain into a beach ball for my crew to enjoy while I give my victory speech.
2494. Gaining weapon mastery in the whip and earning a venomous snake as my animal companion are mutually exclusive achievements.
2495. No using the teleportarium on the hive city to guarantee my ship's rave isn't a bust.
2496. I will not spend profit factor to acquire any major league sports franchise.
2497. Making a hat out of a bear's head is okay. A drow's head not so much.
2498. Detect cliche 15' radius is not a real spell.
2499. No matter what the rules say, I can't catch an episode of Night Court between macrocannon shots.
2500. Any argument with my ex will be done verbally in person. Not across the battlefield in semaphore

[The Archivist]

OK, reposted in smaller chunks as requested.

[Q Man]

The Archivist , this is a great list, thank you for posting it. I also like what you are doing with it in the other thread. Have an exalt for posting this thread.

[Jakob Grimm]

These are so much fun!

[Q Man]

Thanks again for sharing these, I did a few in the other thread.

[El Borak]

I am really enjoying this list and I am not all the way through it by any means.