How 'bout a limerick?

[captaincrumbcake]

There once was a girl named Lucille,
had a lust she could never full-fill.
Til one day she heard, 
of a hangout for nerds;
you can find her at Ruins of Murkhill.



For some reason the idea of increasing everyone's post count and making it fun popped into my skull.


Bet you thought it was gonna be naughty, huh? 

[Deleted]

The only limericks I know are naughty ...

[Deleted]

There was a young lady from Exeter,
And all the young men threw their sex at her.
So just to be rude
She lay in the nude,
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.

[magremore]

That fleet-fingered thief from Portown
flipped more than one kirtle or gown.
No mean bodice-ripper,
they called him The Zipper:
done after one up and down.

[magremore]

That shadowy thief from Atlantees
scaled the walls of the rich maidens’ fancies.
Beguiling those tarts,
he stole more than their hearts
and hightailed it to the land of Fat Catsees.

[owlorbs]

Roll 3d6 right in order
buy plate mail, shield and a sword, or
cast thee one spell
then run like hell
back to the keep on the border.

[magremore]

Yep, I have a problem. This is what I did while waiting for my car to be ready.

That crepuscular thief of the Morrow
made each new day a lesson in sorrow
for the belladonna girls
with their dandelion curls
left with fleeting sensations galore-o.

[magremore]

That vainglorious thief from the Sound
ventured with four friends underground.
They found no corpse of Zenopus,
just rats, ghouls, and goblins
and a thaumaturge monkeying around.

[captaincrumbcake]

A liddle diddle from moments ago:


A gamer named Dave taught us how to behave
in a way that we hadn't before.
By removing our binds we were freeing our minds
of the rules we had suffered of yore.

But a wave swept the lands that reshackled our hands
that discouraged our seeking of more.
And proclaimed upon high of our duty to buy
thus removing our urge to explore.

Then a change in the wind made us wonder again
if perhaps there was hope to restore
that we could if we sought put away what we bought
and return once again to Blackmoor.

[magremore]

That thaumaturge who lives on High Street
is roaming about under our feet.
He cut a hole in his floor,
laid down a trapdoor,
and now smuggles out residents like wheat.

[magremore]

That swindler who slunk through the city
in the shadows, belying his temerity,
but the castle ladies knew
what tricks he could do
with his natural 18 dexterity.

[magremore]

That garrulous thief of rough meter,
less a bard than a slick-tongued one-seater.
He performed not at the Globe—
ladies, please don’t disrobe—
but back behind Murkhill’s ruined theatre.

[magremore]

That thief who worked truly for weal
less than for amorous zeal.
Zip was his name,
anapests were his game—
and a penchant for feminine dishabille.

[robkuntz]

May 5, 2017 15:17:44 GMT -5 captaincrumbcake said:

A liddle diddle from moments ago:


A gamer named Dave taught us how to behave
in a way that we hadn't before.
By removing our binds we were freeing our minds
of the rules we had suffered of yore.

But a wave swept the lands that reshackled our hands
that discouraged our seeking of more.
And proclaimed upon high of our duty to buy
thus removing our urge to explore.

Then a change in the wind made us wonder again
if perhaps there was hope to restore
that we could if we sought put away what we bought
and return once again to Blackmoor.

© 2017.  Captain Crumb Cake.  All Rights Reserved.

[magremore]

That thief who’d read magic from scrolls
as happened one day down belows—
he stared down the hall,
launched forth a fireball,
and, oops, burned his friends with those trolls.

[magremore]

Howl  Shout-Out
to those 

who fled to the Ruins of Murkhill,
no checks of Perception or Will,
who preferred not such things—
instant hero beginnings—
to tactics, resources, and skill.

[magremore]

That thief who out-riddled the giant
with syllables suitably pliant—
he personified time
as harder than adamantine
and a direction that’s compass defiant.

[magremore]

There once was a hillbilly giant,
a feared one hight Dorng the Defiant—
he mistook a thief
for ice-burgundy leaf
and choked on his blade The Insouciant.

[Old Timer]

There was a man from Murkhill,
Who fell and took a great spill.
Then with a blond,
Fell into a pond,
In the end he drowned in the rill.

[Old Timer]

There was a baby beholder,
That grew ever bolder and bolder,
Till one dark night,
It died of a fright,
Petrified it turned into a boulder.

[Admin Pete]

There once was a baby-faced Orc.
Who nevertheless ate with a fork,
He gave a great cry,
When he reached for the pie,
For he was stabbed in the eye with a stork.

[Admin Pete]

There was a great hulking giant,
Who raged and grew very defiant,
He was dosed with a potion,
It gave him the notion,
He relaxed and become quite compliant.

[magremore]

May 8, 2017 23:29:17 GMT -5 Admin Pete said:

. . .
When he reached for the pie,
For he was stabbed in the eye with a stork.

lol, love it

[magremore]

There once was a sword The Insouciant,
which for neutrals was magically puissant.
Forged by woods dwarfs,
it’d fell ornithomorphs
as like as backstab a banneret.

[Mighty Darci]

May 9, 2017 5:01:55 GMT -5 magremore said:

May 8, 2017 23:29:17 GMT -5 Admin Pete said:

. . .
When he reached for the pie,
For he was stabbed in the eye with a stork.

lol, love it

As do eye!

[Mighty Darci]

Now I have to try!



There once was a mighty fat Walrus,
Who was amazingly quite cautious,
But a mermaid did him in,
He no longer could swim,
For the thought made him quite nauseous.

[Admin Pete]

There once was a carnivorous horse,
Who dined on babies and worse,
A dragon did him in,
When he dined on her kin,
So the dragon made him the main course.

[Admin Pete]

A ogre, two trolls and a nurse.
Once took a ride in a hearse,
The trolls were so droll,
They stopped for a gnoll,
And the ogre made off with her purse.

[Admin Pete]

Murkhill was really a mountain,
And out of its top came a fountain,
In the dungeons below,
They never saw snow,
But coins a plenty were there for the countin'.

[Admin Pete]

Before this thread I wasn't so clever,
I'd never tried writing a limerick ever,
I grew wise to the trick,
And picked it up quick,
And now my wife wishes I'd never!