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Post by Q Man on Aug 31, 2018 16:26:00 GMT -5
Why did they hit you over the head from behind when you went to surrender? Why because you can't be trusted to A. Follow simple instructions and more importantly to B. Keep your word.
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Post by Q Man on Aug 31, 2018 16:31:48 GMT -5
Magistrate: "Just curious, why did you think they would be?" Prisoner: "shrugs" Magistrate: "Doesn't matter, cannibalism is against the King's Law, you can't eat humans or any other humanoids, not even evil ones like drow." Looks over at the Guard Captain, "Give this man 40 lashes, and two days in the stocks. If he lives, then tar and feathers and the traditional ride to the crossroads." Ref: You do the crime, you do the time.  |
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Post by Q Man on Aug 31, 2018 16:35:47 GMT -5
Sergeant to accordion wielding private. "Drop and give me a hundred, then KP for two months. There had better not be a next time."
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:02:06 GMT -5
Everyone pick a famous person a musician, singer, actor whatever and base your character off what you know of that persons personality and what you and the ref agree to for their stats. If you pick someone crazy and self-destructive the other players can kill your character, sell him to the orcs or whatever feels right to them. I like this one, great idea and I like the consequences too. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:05:05 GMT -5
A player can take one man band as a bard instrument, but only once he has accumulated 10,000 GP to buy it, plus an extra 10,000 GP to have it customized just for him and another 10,000 GP for two extra arms to be grown and a second head. This item has a weight of 75 lbs that counts towards your encumbrance and you must have a min of a 15 Strength and a 15 Constitution in order to use it. You can do anything you want as long as you start at low level and the power level is set accordingly.  |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:05:35 GMT -5
There is a Gnomish god of heavy crossbow. If you forget to start the day with at least 30 minutes of mediation about the wonders of your god Gnornbow, you will have a -2 to hit for the entire day. There are no excuses accepted and if the party needs to get moving they have no obligation to wait for you. Sweet! |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:06:41 GMT -5
This is an OD&D game so of course he is not 'Southern' Montaigne. He is Southern Montaleebongese, as such your sailor cannot swim and has a religious prohibition against learning. Drowning before dishonor is his closely held belief. How to use a munchkins ways against him. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:09:06 GMT -5
This is OD&D and you don't have skills, say it with me slowly, "These are the professions with which you have a passing knowledge." No you aren't familiar with so many professions that it would take three lifetimes to learn them. OK, roll a d100, OK you rolled 00 and your elf is 500 years old and does have a passing knowledge of all those professions. Yes, the reason your elf is an adventurer at that age is that you were banished by the elves and may never return. Karma can be a witch. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:09:53 GMT -5
You say you are all panicking? OK, then you have lost initiative for the entirety of the encounter. I have to steal this. Completely indecisive, lost initiative for the entirety of the encounter. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:10:36 GMT -5
If you want to use up your psychic energies (which are limited) using them to do the dishes, don't let me stop you.  |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:11:39 GMT -5
because you have Volume I which is being in servitude to Dragons (the ancient ones), Volume II is the cookbook for use with very young dragons of less than two tons weight, they get too tough to chew once they get bigger than that. Sorry you got them confused, but the Ancient Dragon is not amused. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:13:14 GMT -5
Yeah, I remember, Justin and Lance heard you singing Bye Bye Bye on Youtube and offered you a one time guest spot, but then they broke up before it could happen, tough break man. That's alright, we've heard you sing before, before you injured your throat, so we're good, don't strain yourself on my account. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:13:37 GMT -5
Yeah, my table is English only, unless you bring your own translator, then it's cool. OH I like this! |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:16:43 GMT -5
Yeah, that's not cool man, not cool at all. Me and the guys had a really sweet gig lined up with the crown prince and then you had to go and queer the deal with your whole "I'm a berserker routine!" Not cool man, not cool!~ You're just going to have to sit this one out, the whole group is really ticked at you, go think of some way you can make it up to them. No, I am not going to tell them they have to game with you tonight. You knew better and you did it anyway. The guys are done cutting you some slack. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:19:20 GMT -5
No man, not just one, but several of each or you will have to stay home and do your navel gazing there by yourself and we'll find another sorcerer to do our dungeon crawling with. You're weird man, weird, I told you to stop smoking that red mold we found. I know you thing is useless obnoxious characters, we all know that and we are all tired of it. It was funny when we were ten, but now we all have our own ten year olds and its not funny on you anymore. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:21:58 GMT -5
We don't do that kind of thing man, we just don't. You got a problem with somebody, do it like everybody else, call them out for a face to face duel. Ya got it?! Listen, if you really want to play Chaotic Evil characters, here's what you do, see that door, walk out that door and look for another group. Yeah, we're serious, no we're not kidding, not even a little. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:24:42 GMT -5
Magistrate: "Doesn't matter, cannibalism is against the King's Law, you can't eat humans or any other humanoids, not even evil ones like ogres." Looks over at the Guard Captain, "Give this man 40 lashes, and two days in the stocks. If he lives, then tar and feathers and the traditional ride to the crossroads." Love it! |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:25:11 GMT -5
No matter what genre we play you always pull things like this, so you get the usual result, you completely destroyed the door and your sleeping friend inside the unlocked tiny room, again. Ok the other players will deal with him now. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:25:35 GMT -5
Guest Referee: No, no please be my guest, I've made a few very minor changes that I am sure you will love and appreciate. Let's get started, everyone wants to see you do this. Perfect solution if you run modules. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:26:07 GMT -5
The Protective Alliance of Superheroes is here to arrest you. They have chains with that special metal that makes you weak and sick. You were tried in absentia and sentenced to life without parole. Since you don't need to eat or breath you will sealed into a metal cube of five tons lined with that special metal and dropped into the Mariana Trench. Rather a shame that you are nearly immortal. That would be priceless to see the players face. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:26:38 GMT -5
Why did they hit you over the head from behind when you went to surrender? Why because you can't be trusted to A. Follow simple instructions and more importantly to B. Keep your word. Good to know, I like it. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:27:02 GMT -5
Magistrate: "Just curious, why did you think they would be?" Prisoner: "shrugs" Magistrate: "Doesn't matter, cannibalism is against the King's Law, you can't eat humans or any other humanoids, not even evil ones like drow." Looks over at the Guard Captain, "Give this man 40 lashes, and two days in the stocks. If he lives, then tar and feathers and the traditional ride to the crossroads." Ref: You do the crime, you do the time. Second time around, even better. |
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Post by El Borak on Aug 31, 2018 17:27:43 GMT -5
Sergeant to accordion wielding private. "Drop and give me a hundred, then KP for two months. There had better not be a next time." I would up it to two hundred. |
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